Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ten things I hate about You

I've been on a couple of good dates recently so I knew, I knew that I had some bad date karma just waiting to come and bite me in the ass. Yesterday was the designated day. I'm not going to rant and rave, I thought it would be simpler to present this as a simple list of what was wrong. Ten Things. Not in a cute and irresistably gorgeous way like Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles either. More's the shame...

- You wore a heavy gold chain with three buttons undone on your shirt. I could practically see your nipples. Eew.

- You complained about the seat in the restaurant because it was by the door, even though it was a bright and balmy summer's evening and there was no space anywhere else

- You ordered the same thing as me on the menu, meaning I could only photograph one dish (pet hate, I never said all my reasons would be objective)

- You talked for 60 minutes flat about your boring life without pausing for breath. I dont even think you know what I do for a living. I know you don't care.

- You made me go dutch for both the film and the cinema when you asked me out (I think this is a big factor in who pays)

- When I went to pay on my card in the cinema, for a moment you thought I was going to pay for your ticket too after you'd bored me to tears over dinner. Snort.

- Your favourite film list includes Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon and Piranhas. I cant even describe how upset that makes me. In fact that was the moment I lost all respect for you as a human being.

- You asked if I had older brothers because after aforementioned film debate/ debacle, I was apparently very opinionated. The only explanation for this, according to you, was a lot of male influence in my life.

- You leaned over midway through the film and told me the plot line twist just as they were about to reveal it.

- You annoyed me more than any human has for a few weeks.

There we have it, the imperfect ten.

Unfortunately, because we only had such a short period of time in Ichiban before the film, I only got to try the one course so I can only say the following. If you are looking for incredibly fresh sushi and a fairly large menu to choose from in Brixton, you'd do well to head to Ichiban. No fear, I will return soon and write a proper review, but for now I'll just leave you with this lovely image...