Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ten things I hate about You



I've been on a couple of good dates recently so I knew, I knew that I had some bad date karma just waiting to come and bite me in the ass. Yesterday was the designated day. I'm not going to rant and rave, I thought it would be simpler to present this as a simple list of what was wrong. Ten Things. Not in a cute and irresistably gorgeous way like Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles either. More's the shame...

- You wore a heavy gold chain with three buttons undone on your shirt. I could practically see your nipples. Eew.

- You complained about the seat in the restaurant because it was by the door, even though it was a bright and balmy summer's evening and there was no space anywhere else

- You ordered the same thing as me on the menu, meaning I could only photograph one dish (pet hate, I never said all my reasons would be objective)

- You talked for 60 minutes flat about your boring life without pausing for breath. I dont even think you know what I do for a living. I know you don't care.

- You made me go dutch for both the film and the cinema when you asked me out (I think this is a big factor in who pays)

- When I went to pay on my card in the cinema, for a moment you thought I was going to pay for your ticket too after you'd bored me to tears over dinner. Snort.

- Your favourite film list includes Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon and Piranhas. I cant even describe how upset that makes me. In fact that was the moment I lost all respect for you as a human being.

- You asked if I had older brothers because after aforementioned film debate/ debacle, I was apparently very opinionated. The only explanation for this, according to you, was a lot of male influence in my life.

- You leaned over midway through the film and told me the plot line twist just as they were about to reveal it.

- You annoyed me more than any human has for a few weeks.

There we have it, the imperfect ten.

Unfortunately, because we only had such a short period of time in Ichiban before the film, I only got to try the one course so I can only say the following. If you are looking for incredibly fresh sushi and a fairly large menu to choose from in Brixton, you'd do well to head to Ichiban. No fear, I will return soon and write a proper review, but for now I'll just leave you with this lovely image...

10 comments:

Hugh Wright said...

Notwithstanding that, if a date of mine got their camera out and started photographing the food, I'd run for the hills, this guy sounds like a prize prick. Chalk it up to bitter experience and I'm sure you'll have better luck next time!

NEXT!

Julianna Barnaby said...

I normally have a no camera on dates rules but he was a photographer so I figured it was fair game...

Bitter/ funny experience. I do love the drama!

Kavey said...

Ooooh Julianna, what stone did you find this one under? NOT good!

Julianna Barnaby said...

Random festival - he was photographing my friends doing a human pyramid right before they all fell down and one of them broke their collarbone. That should have been a sign...

jamesramsden said...

Yikes...poor you :-(

A friend of mine takes photographs at festivals...hmmmm.

Northern Snippet said...

Hilarious!
What a numbnut!

Sancha Caroline Mendes said...

hahahaha loved the post! and the guy is a prick! lol xx

Julianna Barnaby said...

Yeah I know people, my thoughts exactly - poor me!

James, err I'd ask what your friend was called but I'm not sure I want to know... He isnt Guyanese perchance* is he?

*Runs away and hides from possible reply

jamesramsden said...

I'm almost overwhelmed by the temptation to wind you up...but no he's not. J

Ally Potter said...

Absolutely hilarious.

Seeing as you're not interested, can you pass on his number yeah?

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